Influencing people.

what would batman do?


Influencing people...

Note the descriptions might or might not be fictious, i am using myself as an example - but it does not say if these have happened to me or not. Also the names have been changed where there is slight correspondence to analog world.

I am telling two different events, which show something on first part of this topic posting. Influencing is much more - takes from trend, history, character, behaviour etc and is not just observable fully on the event i am describing - situational leadership is the key. Which is reason i am continuing these.

Event 1.
Is winter, we are just about to head to present our project to big head honcho - there's some nervousness in the air (you think it is air you are breathing?). Person A approaches me wanting me to take lead on this, me replying it is not ok due that he has acted as main lead whole time, so he should keep focus on his stuff, sudden changes confuses the listener. Next i am suggested that we should make a "warplan" - which immediately sets alarm. Explanations below.

1.1 going through
The term "warplan" does not belong person A normal vocabulary - thus in this situation we are not a team/collagues anymore but i am tried to be manipulated. My interest has been long time military strategies,. So attempt to use words which are my interest is trying to engage me - problem is that this does rather the opposite due ; since we are not anymore a team but a group of people. Team goes towards common goal as colleagues. Group is individual person with or without common goal. Moreover attempt to manipulate is wrong and creates just bad.

What this should be learned upon;
for boss/manager : try to be interested on your subordinate stuff also in between similar stuff, with non-normal vocabulary you are not interested - you are trying to manipulate. nominate best person on lead from the beginning.
for subordinate : qualitative specs of your boss. Also sometimes you might observe on this that this is something he/she really wants to happen. Play accordingly.


Event 2.
Is coldish autumn morning. People hang out. Person A starts to tell me - by using my exact words week ago - something, and continues with something that apparently s/he already has decided.

1.1 going through
By using my exact words this gives impression that person A tries to make me impressed that we think a like. Why this is bad - it is again manipulation, but not using keywords but exact wording. And actually make disimpression to try to take a credit.
How it should have been done: start the talk by saying "Like you said a week ago"; this give a) you have been listened to b) you have been understood to c) you are being credited d) possible confirmation you understood correctly and/or more info. And people generally want to be appreciated, not feeling stolen.

additionally, when crediting other person when person is not there - you start to create organizational unity, where this persons value rises, breaking silos etc, and also your status arises - such a humbly, noble person.


What this should be learned upon:
Try to act like i told on "how it should be done", it will create tremendous value, and trust. this regarless if you are a boss or subordinate. also if you quote, loan, copy etc something - tell from where it is based upon.